I work as a very helpful PC hardware specialist at a well know UK website. Don't get me wrong I love my job. One thing I hate is a large percentage of our customers.
You ring me and say "Look I'm not that clued up and I need some advice", fine, I'll be helpful and courteous and explain things in a way you will understand. You ring me up and say "I've got 20 years of building PC's under my belt but I'm stuck on how to put a stick of memory in" then your on the bad side of me from the start.
I mean PC hardware, every fucker is an expert. If you had a heart problem you wouldn't say "Hey theres a surgeon in my pub that will sort it out with a broken bottle for you". Everyone is an expert, even those clowns at fucking PCWorld apparently are. (More on that in another post).
Let me start with an arse muppet called Elliot. This guy rings saying he knows exactly what he's doing but was a bit outdated with his knowledge. I pointed him in the direction of various products for varying prices showing him the in's and out's of what is beneficial and what is not. 3 Weeks this went on, video links, product links, explanations, the guy on average was taking up about 20% of my work response time.
Finally he ordered, didn't spend half as much as he was getting parts quoted for originally (fucking students for you), but then came the bizzare phone conversations. Everyday he was on the phone. Asking about compatibility of the parts he was sent, wether it would work, alot of inane reassurance bullshit. Then one of 2 phonecalls set me off nearly 2 weeks after he had the parts...
1ST Call
Elliot: "Hi ***** (My real name), it's elliot, a quick one how do I get the ports to line up on the back of the PC"
NN: "Have you used the backplate that came in the motherboard box"
Elliot: "Yeah, it just doesn't seem to line up though"
NN: "Sometimes it can take some jiggling but it should be fine just make sure the standoffs are lined up correctly"
Elliot: "I Just don't understand how you get them from the front of the case to the back"
NN: "I don't understand, front of the case?"
Elliot: "Well you know how the ports are near the hard drive case"
**HOLD** FUCKING STUPID FUCKERS INSTALLED THE MOTHERBOARD THE WRONG FUCKING WAY ROUND THE FUCKING STUPID PRICK.
My Boss : You serious, surprised the fuckers not electrocuted himself by now.
**OFF HOLD**
NN: "Elliot, take the motherboard out and rotate it 180 degree's, this should make sense, if not I have a 3-5 year old age range jigsaw that maybe more suitable"
Elliot "What?"
NN: "Sorry Elliot but a mistake of this magnitude invalidates all your warranties, you are not capable of building a machine and you have obviously never built one before. We don't mind offering support but this is ridiculous. I advise you re-watch some of the basic video's I sent you, I don't want to sound nasty but it's just a good job we don't run an 0898 number or you'd have a phone bill of 2 grand"
**HANGS UP**
3 Hours later
Elliot "Hi it's Elliot, final question"
NN: "Go on"
Elliot: "The machines fired up, I put the motherboard disk in and nothings happening"
NN: "What windows isn't recognising the disk"
Elliot: "Windows?"
NN: "You haven't installed windows yet have you"
So I hung up. He gave up ringing when I saw his number on the switchboard and put him last in the queue.
The moral of this story is, if you don't know, ask. Simple. Don't pretend to be some geek, because even us nerds know how to make you wait. Patience is a virtue, but assistance is more valuable. Being spechiul comes to some people naturally. Elliot is a prime example of this.
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