Brian Cox is MY Will Weaton

Yes he's the loveable nerd everyone loves.  He brings science alive and manages to interest everyone in the bigger picture.  On a whole I quite like him.  He's non offensive and enthusiastic.  However with all TV Pseudo nerds he is going to get right on my fucking tits at least once.

Last night he was talking about the construction of the universe,  whilst explaining he said this

"We know the entire Universe is constructed from 92 Elements,  notice how I say "We know" and not "We think".

He then went on and several minutes later stated the following

"There is heavy proof that this theory is correct"




Brian, Brian, Brian, you silly boy.  For a start if you would have used the terminology "Chemical Elements" then maybe I would give you a break.  However using the method of light and chemical analysis is fine,  WHEN YOU FUCKING BASE THIS ON ELEMENTS FOUND ON EARTH.

Lets just take this for an example,  you paint a beach ball with 92 different colours and blow the fucking thing up with a nuclear missile, what is the likely hood that the atoms are dispersed evenly so the blast radius contains one particle of each colour within the designated area.  Not much.  Considering you believe in the big bang theory it's difficult to imagine that you truly believe in a unilateral spreading of all elements across the expanse of the Universe during the main event.  To think this and profess the quote above is idiotic and nieve.  Frankly this "Theory", is just that a Theory, and should not be spouted as fucking fact.  End of.

Also can I point out that Chemical Elements are just that,  what about Dark Matter.  This theory is widespread and believed within the scientific community.  If, and I say If (i'm not a prick and won't spout theory and pose it as fact), this is ever proven then a new elements table could be construed.  This is why the terminology has changed from elements to "Chemical Elements" .

Brian do us a favour,  stop trying to get the UK taxpayer to blast you off to the moon,  and spend sometime in actually thinking about what you are saying.  For fucks sake I wouldn't give a tramp a fiver to suck you off,  let alone your own personal moon excursion .

It's easy to call the French a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkeys ... AND I W

ON'T

Whats worst is that I spent half an hour on the fucking phone to a so called technician who barely could understand English over a specific monitor for a specific system.

He then blurted out,  "It's a Ministry of Defence Project" ... WHAT THE FUCK....I mean are we that strapped we're not only outsourcing to the French that were outsourcing to French people who have limited fucking IT skills and even more limited FUCKING ENGLISH SKILLS.

Wasn't it only the fucking other week they were harking on about the failure/sucess of the latest aero fighter (obviously dependant on what news channel you were watching).  England sucks.  If I didn't have my little lad to consider I'd be fucking off on a home made raft to shores unknown,  probably Ireland, or maybe Norway.  It's obvious any attack on our country will be followed by the conventional white flag,  isn't that how the French's Guide to being Attacked step one goes .   Obviously we are following in suit.  Wouldn't mind,  they were even phoning from a french fucking number.

Fucking ConDem's wankers the lot of them.

GDC CryEngine 3

Great showcase.....Maybe the reports of Microsoft looking for new hardware developers was not unwarranted..this shizzle looks like leaving the consoles for fucking dead...

TIMMMMYYYYY!!!

Customers again.  Can't live without them as a business.  However alot of the time you are simply begging for them to drop of the face of the fucking earth.  Not just to please you,  but probably would be better for the human fucking race.

Today I encountered something I have never encountered.  And before you get all fucking upity about this kind of customer I want you to read through and tell me if I'm not wrong before judging.

Wheelchair users and/or the house bound.

Mainly this week I have been providing support for OS's (Outside Sources from our web portals),  these are customers that require assistance via email or phone.  Most of its inane crap "Is this memory compatible" "is this ac adapter for a dell vostro 1400 suitable for a dell vostro 1400" and so on.

I assisted a guy on the purchase of a low profile graphics card.  It can be a tricky subject as the power requirements can be specific and we do have alot of returns due to this.  I spent about 40 emails bringing up the specs, looking at his machine,  what he was using the card for (a HTPC setup with his 50' TV) looking at what the best card suitable for his needs were, answering his questions and just playing the good tech guy.  He was grateful and bought the card.  Alls good.

He received the card, fitted it.  Then sent in this fucking diatribe about how he'd found it £6 cheaper at another online source and he felt cheated and wanted to return it or a partial refund/pricematch.  I told him we couldn't compete with that price and that if he wished to return it unused he would get a full refund.  Then it got worst

"I have accidentally installed it and It will put me at great pain to return the card as I am in a wheel chair and house bound and this extra expense cannot be justified as i'm living on the poverty line"

WHAT THE FUCK.  BOO FUCKING HOO.  RIGHT FOR A START IF YOU ARE HOUSE BOUND YOU ARE PLAYING A GUILT TRIP ON IT.  YOU TOOK A GOOD 2 HOURS OF MY TIME.  THATS LESS THEN MINIMUM WAGE FOR THE ASSISTANCE.  YOU WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE FOR A FULL REFUND AS THE CARD HAS BEEN USED AND NON FAULTY.  YOU HAD CHANCE TO SEARCH FOR A BETTER DEAL ONLINE BEFORE PURCHASING IT,  AND NOW YOU PLAY THIS FUCKING SHIT PISS POOR PITY TRIP TO TRY AND GET A BETTER PRICE,  I BET YOU GOT THAT 50' TV FOR FUCK ALL AS WELL DID YOU.  IF YOU ARE HOUSEBOUND YOU PROBABLY ARE ON MORE BENEFITS AND EARN MORE MONEY THEN ME.  SIMPLY GO FUCK YOURSELF.

IF YOU AREN'T IN A WHEELCHAIR THEN YOU ARE SCUM FOR TRYING THIS.  EITHER WAY WHEELCHAIR OR NOT YOU ARE FUCKING SCUM.  I THOUGHT HANDICAPABLE PEOPLE WANT A FAIR CRACK,  YOU SIR SICKEN ME SHOWING THAT PEOPLE WILL PREY ON ANYTHING THEY CAN TO TRY AND GET WHATEVER THEY CAN FOR FREE.

You may be thinking "Chill out",  according to the people who usually do the OS's this shit happens 6-7 times a week minimum.  Either people think it's good haggling practice or it's probably been reported a great way to deal with mail order and webcompanies on "I'mafuckingtightarsewanker.com".

Truly Sickening.  We told him he can return it but he will not be eligible for the shipping costs to be refunded.  That in itself including return costs will be more then the 6 quid.  I await his response in the morning.  I'm trusting it won't be good,  but hey at least he can't go complain at citizens advice as getting through on the phones a nightmare,  you usually can only get advice by going to the office, but he can't do that, he's housebound.

I am not saying they are all like that.  I don't believe in tarring people with the same brush,  it just shows that no matter what affliction,  there are fucking scum buckets in every walk of life.

Charlie and the Apple Factory

Just Watch it ... LMAO

Probably the greatest apple parody ever....thanks Geeks are Sexy ...

daniweb

So a friend of mine just sent me a link from the fucking retard station that is daniweb.

Now I'm all for friendly helpful sites.  Can I just point out that daniweb and everything surrounding daniweb is for stupid fucking people.

Point and case,  I went on there and the first post I see is this

"Is the connection of Sony home system HT-DDW7500 compatible with LG 42PJ350R Plasma TV"


errrrr .... google it....within 3 seconds I found out both components are HDMI based.  So yes.  For the time it's took you to log in and write this frankly retarded dumbass question you could of googled it and found out yourself.  Oh and can I just point out that having quite a good audio setup but with a tv that only just scrapes 720p is fucking retarded.  YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE THE FUCKING INTERNET IT'S NOT FUCKING HARD TO DO THE FUCKING RESEARCH.  DANIWEB IS ACTUALLY BELOW PCWORLD TECHGUYS.  THE PEOPLE ON THERE ACTUALLY DESERVE LABOTIMISING.

People, stay away from it, any other reviews or fucking links will get you blocked from my social network lists.  It's not big, it's not clever, I have more joy reading the fucking graffiti in the local supermarket toilet ,  apparently "keiths mrs is well dirty", now thats entertainment.

On another note I am actually tempted to join it,  take a week off work,  I recon I could answer 60% of the questions on their in a week.  At least I know there's at least 800,000 IT retards on the planet that speak English.  No wonder I'm busy at work.

3DS ... The Travesty of Nintendo's Advertising

Here we go again,  the company that brought you the imagery of the perfect family in the Redknapps.  When we all know most of there evenings really involve Harry drinking too much scotch and learing over Louise all night only to be left slyly fapping one off in the toilet using his own tears as lubrication.

Don't be fooled,  thats not a look of joy, thats fear of the anal beating he's going to endure.

Let's not forget the ultimate digital version of JLS's "Cum on the biscuit" game as well,  which we all know ends in pretty much gang rape of the little one,  its no wonder he walks round like he has a loaf in his pants,  thats what happens when you get 3 guys going in dry.

'See, it's awesome.'

What do we have this time.  A group of people crowing on about how "Awesome" and "Amazing" it is.  Don't get me wrong it's a nifty bit of kit.  3D will work well glasses free on these kind of small, 1 viewing point devices.  Pretty sure this and the new LG Optimus will be probably the biggest selling 3D tech this year.

Let's face it though the group of people they use to hark on and convey the "Awesomeness" of this device would  probably use the same descriptors if you shown them a monkey shit in a bag with a 60% peanut-to-crap ratio.  Fair enough if they had Stephen Hawkings or any other admired scientist,  even Patrick Moore would do for fucks sake, then I may take the advert in the sense it was made.  I have the sneaking suspicion though Professor Hawkings would not use the word awesome.  He actually knows what the word awesome means.  The size of the galaxy and universe is awesome,  mans existence and evolution from primordial soup is awesome.    It annoys me so much having a bunch of people who you frankly do not know,  people who may be about as tech savvy that they think a simple TV remote control is "Beyond" there understanding.  We don't know if these people live in caves,  they may have been picked out from some nomadic tribe and given a makeover.  (If they had though I'm pretty sure you will see it on BBC3 sometime,  "Hotter then my Nomad" or some other makeover shite).

I WANT PROOF THAT THESE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SEEING,  I WANT CERTIFICATES, ACTUALLY I WOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY JUST TO SEE ONE OF THEM BE ABLE TO WRITE THEIR OWN FUCKING NAME.

There's nothing worst then the average moron being amazed by a device.  Fucking hell, these people look like they would be amazed if I shown them "The Seperated thumb" trick.  Which my 3 year old disapproves of now as he finds it totally "Non-Amazing".